The House of Doo

The House of Doo

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Again...

 I can't think of a title. :/

I just wanted to write a quick update on my stepdad.  He is still hanging on but has hardly any quality of life left at all.  It is so sad to see him lying in that bed.  He is so skinny and looks about 90 years old and is only in his 50s.  He can no longer stand or talk.  I talked to Mom this morning and she said his breathing is starting to get labored.  It will not be much longer.  He doesn't really "see" you anymore, as his eyes aren't focusing.  I hate this part.  We watched this with my precious Nana and it was horrible.  At this point, you know what is going to happen as it is inevitable and honestly, you just want it to happen soon and not drag on because he's suffering.  My mom feels this way and is at peace with his death, however, she is going to be (is already, really) heartbroken.  If you know my mom, you know it took a VERY long time and a lot of mistakes to get to the point of finding Allen and it seems so unfair for him to be taken from her.  I also want to be very honest about her because I don't feel that it is something of which to be ashamed.  She is bipolar - clinically diagnosed, not just "moody," among other things. So many people throw the term "bipolar" around very loosely.  Anyway.  She is bipolar and takes a lot of medication and care to try to keep it under control.  Lots of things could easily turn it into a situation where she really needs help and losing a spouse could totally do it.  I know she takes great care to try not to sleep during the day even if she couldn't sleep at night (this has happened lots lately) and if she does get her days and nights mixed a little, it can throw the bipolar disorder into a mess.  I just want you guys to know exactly what to pray for when it comes to her.  She needs prayer that she can get the rest she needs and be able to grieve without it turning into something that could - in a really bad case - require hospitalization for her.  Allen was her support and her sanity, in many situations, and it is going to be very hard for her to handle this.  I also ask that you pray for her to grieve in a "healthy" manner.  God knows what I mean.  As for Allen, please pray that he passes peacefully and soon, so he does not suffer long.  He has been in a lot of pain and no one should have to go through that.

As for me, I ask that you pray that I am strong enough for my mom.  Ryan and I (and Colt!) love Allen so much and we will desperately miss him, but we have to be able to be strong enough for mom.

Thanks for your prayers.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Praises.

I just thought I would update on the way things have been going lately.  Colt is in his fourth week of preschool at Siskin.  I absolutely, wholeheartedly believe that this place is the answer to our prayers.  In the past month, he has just exploded with progress!  Every day it is something new.  Something BIG!  New words, new phrases, everything!  He has even started saying things in response to us and he is HILARIOUS.  On Thanksgiving Day, someone asked him a question (I don't know what it was now) and his response was "No comment!"  Ha.  This weekend he answered me a few times with "If you say so."   Yesterday (TMI alert!) he had a bit of a raw hiney, kind of diaper-rashy and he said "Hurts so bad...butt doctor!"  Hahahaha.  Sunday morning, I went to get him ready for church and I had on a white button-up shirt.  He pointed at my shirt and said "Doctor's outfit."  Umm...okay.  :)  I love, love, LOVE this.

Another big thing that has just started in the past few days... he is PRETENDING!  I know that seems silly.  We put our Christmas tree up on "Black Friday" and he found a bungee cord that was around our Christmas tree box.  He hung it around his neck and began holding one side by his ear and the other on our chests to "check for heartbeats."  :)  He then checked our ears for the "ear flu."  I have no idea, but I LOVE IT.  He loves all things doctor.  And football.  He has been running plays, yelling "First down!" and playing "touchdown" where he tucks the football up under his arm and tackles Daddy.  He loved going to games at our old high school this fall and it was the most still I have ever seen him.  Now, he watches entire games on TV and truly watches what is happening, like he's studying it.

A couple of nights ago, he spent about 30 minutes playing with cars and driving them all over, pretending to park them on his road map rug and setting up little orange cones and street signs.  We just watched him in awe.  He is, all of a sudden, a little boy with an imagination. 

Yesterday, driving to school, he started to sing.  That is the first time I have ever heard him sing.  I tell no lies when I say it brought me to tears.  Of all songs it was that STUPID "baby you a song, you make me want to roll my windows down and cruise" song.  I HATE THAT SONG.  The grammar is horrendous.  Anyway, yesterday, it was the most beautiful song I had ever heard coming from that little mouth. 

His behavior has made a 180.  We were REALLY struggling and almost instantly after he started school, it changed.  I don't know if it is watching the other children or that he's getting his energy out or what but it's amazing.  Ryan picked Colt up from school yesterday and he asked the teachers if he was good.  She said "He's always good!"  What a change!  He is truly a delight.  Truly.  I just cannot get over it.  :)

I am feeling a little pressure to change the days he is in school.  He goes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and I am off on Mondays and Wednesdays.  I miss him while he's at school, no doubt.  At the same time, he gets to go three days rather than two, like he would if we changed to Tuesday/Thursday.  I don't know what to do.  For now though, he's loving it and so are we.

He has such a GIGANTIC personality and I am so excited that others will soon be able to see it like we have seen it for so long.  :)

Thank you, God, for this beautiful blessing. 

(My sweet fried Hillary at HMX Photography for taking this beautiful photo.)