Life has been really hard lately. Not only for me, but for many of my family and friends - close or in Facebookland. Some of the hardships are shared between us and some are individual battles. Some are current and some are ghosts from the past. Some have a mixture of both. Yikes. There is a lot of HURT going on right now. Everywhere you look, someone is hurting. You hear that you should always look around because someone else always has it worse off. No doubt, someone does. However, this doesn't make you hurt any less usually. To me, sometimes the most helpful thing is to have someone that I can vent to (I know that's grammatically incorrect, but it sounds pretentious when I reword it) and to have someone that I know will have my back or pray for me, sometimes without being asked to do so. A friend recently shared a link to a blog about having "a net." You can read it here. Basically, a net is a friend/family member that can "catch" you when you are falling. It's important that we have this person. It's so easy to sit back and say "Praying for ya!" when we see that someone is struggling, but do you REALLY say a prayer? Most of us do not, I would say. When I noticed the aforementioned friend was having a hard time, I thought to myself "You know, I really wish I could help, but I can't..." You know what? I can. I can take a few minutes to pray for that person and send them an encouraging word. So can you. It isn't going to solve anyone's problems or make everything okay, but it can uplift them. It can give them just a bit more strength to push a little harder. It can help them know they aren't fighting alone, that someone has their back.
I have been thinking about this for a while but that blog really hammered it home. I was thinking about how hard it is to be a mother, sometimes. Or maybe it's just a woman thing. We give and give and give and give until there is so little left of us and it's so easy to get mad, bitter, or broken down. We get very little thanks or appreciation in return because "it's our job" to clean the house, do the laundry, cook dinner, whatever. This is not directed at my husband, I promise, but it is true. I think if we think about it, most of us women/wives/mothers feel this way, at least occasionally. We can't expect men to suddenly change (though I wish we could sometimes!) because I keep hearing that they are "just wired that way." I'm not going to get into that crap. This is more about how I think we should stick together as women/wives/mothers and help uplift each other.
Everything about our ridiculous society says to compare yourself to someone else. Do better. Go bigger. Be skinnier. Make a better Pinterest project. Make your own soap. Cloth diaper and nurse until the children are 7. Come on. Most days I haven't even showered and my house is a disaster, but my child is alive and made it to his therapy sessions on time. I consider that a win! And I only have ONE!! My son is FULL-THROTTLE at all times, so you better believe when he naps, I lie down too. I usually read or nap. You know what? That's okay. I am so tired of feeling guilty about that. My son is EXHAUSTING, I am sure your kids are too. Why do we learn to feel bad about that? If I didn't rest when he did, I would be a stark-raving lunatic by the time my husband got home. Heck, sometimes I am even with a nap. :)
We have got to stop this crazy "I am not good enough" crap. STOP IT. You ARE good enough. Your children love you, even when you haven't showered. Now, stop beating up other people too. Don't even think to yourself that you would do something differently. You don't know that until you have to deal with it. Be supportive of people. Tell them you appreciate them. Tell them "Hey, you've got this. You can do this!" Tell them you are proud of them, thankful for them, love them. Be a blessing. It will help YOU get through your own hard times because, in return, someone will bless you. (See, it's not being totally selfless because you get something too!)