The House of Doo

The House of Doo

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Soft heart. Soft blanket.

I just wanted to share something we are going to be working on in the coming months. I told the story months ago of how we came to adoption. A man (Bucky Rogers) came to our church to speak on a special place being built in Uganda called Benjamin House Ministries. They are NOT an orphanage, rather a place that hopes to rehabilitate families. Did you know that a large percentage of "orphans" are not actually orphans at all? Many times, the children are given up by their parents because the parents either can't afford to feed them or they just don't know how to parent (verb).

Can you imagine having to choose between keeping your children and possibly watching them starve to death or giving them up to an orphanage where you know they will be fed and have some form of medical care? That's inconceivable to me.

Anyway, we have fallen in love with BHM and all that they stand for and hope over time, we can help you fall in love, too. Ryan will be traveling to Uganda in February for 10 days with some of our closest friends and I am sure I will have lots of pictures and stories to share then. I want to go so very badly, but at this point in my life as a mother to Colt, I cannot go. So I will live vicariously through them until we can all three go in the future.

So here is the story.

Tuesday night, the three of us attended a Benjamin House unveiling banquet. It was wonderful and I was proud of Colt for behaving and listening so intently, as it lasted about 2 1/2 hours. There was a video (I am hoping I can find a link to it!) and Colt was surprisingly mesmerized. Later that night, Ryan and I had kissed him goodnight and as we were about to leave the room, Colt's face just crumpled and he began to cry. He cried over those Ugandan children not having toilets and blankets. He was BROKEN for them. I am so grateful for his precious, sensitive heart. Now, I told him that we would come up with a way to help because as Bucky had said in the video - the task is HUGE, but we just have to START. Just do something. You can't know all of this, see all of this, and do nothing.

Colt has decided that we will collect blankets for the children in Kampala, Uganda. Not for warmth, but for a comfort item. Every kid needs that. We haven't exactly figured out all of the details, but the goal is to collect blankets and send them over with Ryan and the team when they go in February. If you are interested in helping us - AND COLT! - out with a blanket donation, we would love to speak with you.

Thank you, friends!

Here is the documentary. It is only a little over twelve minutes long. WORTH YOUR TIME.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016


Please forgive me if this post is choppy. I am a bit rusty.

If you know me well, you know that I am much better at communicating through writing than with spoken words. I tend to speak before I think things through and this often gets me in trouble. Sometimes I even "post before thinking" and this too gets me in trouble. I have taken a few "Facebook breaks" over the past few months and it's been liberating and constricting at the very same time. It's nice to not feel so connected to something and to be able to pull away. But at the same time, it took away my voice. I can promise you that was a good (but hard!) thing at the time. I had lots of ugly things to say to anyone that would listen.

I have not blogged since April. I am missing it. Missing my outlet. Missing my (free!) therapy.

The past year has been the worst year I could have ever imagined. I have felt intense joy and the most intense heartbreak too. I have been put on antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications. Medication to sleep. Therapy. It's hard. I have been drowning. I am still struggling but I am starting to see a light at the end of this horrible tunnel.

Our family has been tested relentlessly this year and y'all, we failed.


Our family almost didn't make it.

Our flesh is so weak, but you know what? Our God is so strong. His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

I take comfort in knowing that we are doing what God intended for us. I know Satan tests us most when we are doing what is right. With that being said, we are still adopting. I still have shirts to give out. I have not forgotten. I have just been fighting to keep my head above water.

I am sorry. I am sorry I have been a bad friend. I am sorry I haven't been a good example. I have been angry. Sad. Hurt. Hopeless. Anxious.

But I am coming back, hopefully for good and hopefully all of me.

If you made it through this, thank you. ❤