It has been a while since I have last posted about our adoption. Things are moving along, VERY slowly. We finished our home study a couple of weeks ago and are waiting on the final written report. For some reason it is taking a bit longer than we were told, but it is what it is.
At our final home study, we were given a lot of information that I have been dwelling on for a while now. Our social worker told us about a time when she visited an orphanage in China. She was in a room FULL of cribs holding babies - literally a hundred or more. Can you imagine how chaotic that would be? A room full of screaming babies? Except it wasn't. IT WAS SILENT. It wasn't some crazy miracle where they were all sleeping simultaneously - they were awake! I can't imagine that. You know why they were silent? Because they had learned that when they cried, no one came to them. If they were hungry, dirty, sick, bored, lonely, scared, tired - no one came to care for them when they needed something. So eventually they learned to just keep quiet. Getting Miles to verbalize what he wants and needs is going to be a huge struggle.
Our social worker also told us to expect Miles to be very angry with us for taking him away from the orphanage. This cold place is his home. In my mind, a child would hope to be adopted into a family! This is rarely the case. These children don't know any differently. They don't know they don't have a family because they don't know what a family is! She says Miles will likely not trust us for a long time. He will most likely bond with Colt quickly because he's used to children and not adults. She says Colt will have a HUGE part in this adoption - he will be the one teaching Miles that he can trust us as his parents.
I would be lying if I said this didn't bother me. It is weighing heavy on my heart. I am TERRIFIED. I don't know why God chose this path for us, I am scared of it, but I am ready for it too. It will be a huge challenge but I know that He doesn't always call the equipped. He equips the called. God will take care of it, but I do still appreciate your prayers for us. For Colt and for Miles. I pray they do bond quickly. I also pray that Ryan and I have the heart, the strength, the grace, and the love for this task. It seems so very big.