Overwhelmed.

I announced in my last blog that we are adopting a child from Haiti. The past 9 days have been such a whirlwind of activity. We have started our t-shirt sale and my goal was 100 shirts. We are currently sitting at 109 shirts in 6 days! My new goal is 145 because we get a price break at 145, meaning more money per shirt for our fundraiser. I know we will make it.

My dear friend, Hillary, is an incredible photographer. She is donating two whole days of photo sessions, her precious time to take and edit the photos, and the money she should rightfully keep for herself, and she is donating all of that to our adoption fund. She already has half of the slots filled. Every time I try to tell her how thankful I am, I just can't form the words. There are not enough words.

We have also gotten monetary donations from friends and strangers. Our adoption will cost us between  $35,000 and $40,000 and y'all, that number is DAUNTING. I get overwhelmed by that number.

Then I look at what we have received thus far. The amount of shirts. The checks. The cash placed in my hand. The giving of talents and time. The sharing of my many, many posts every day. Begging your friends to support us. Your prayers sent up for us. The encouraging people (mostly strangers!) that are placed in my path. When I think of those things, I have no fear. I know God is faithful. He called us to it, He will bring us through it. I am just overcome with emotion. Gratefulness. Love. Joy. Healing. Humility.

I am humbled. Thank you. ♡

Our Future as a Family.

It has been a few months since I last posted. Almost four months. That was the month we lost our baby girl, Collins. It's been four months of grieving and healing, too. It's hard to see my "pregnancy buddies" being so close to giving birth, but I am excited for them still. If anything, I have come closer to God in the last few months and I am thankful for that.

 A couple of months ago, I had coffee (and two and half hours of conversation!) with a former teacher-turned-friend. We talked about many things, but one topic stuck with me. The topic of Collins and her purpose here in this world - on this side of Heaven. This friend urged me to know that Collins' life did indeed have purpose, just like mine and yours too. I have pondered on that and prayed on that for a while now. Jump forward a few weeks and many prayers and we are in Sunday school, where Ryan is teaching. He was talking about questioning God and how he struggled with asking God why He took our baby girl from us. After class was over, we went on into church where we had a guest speaker. He was speaking about his calling to open an orphanage in Uganda, where the orphan rate is unbelievably high. In that moment I knew what Collins' purpose was.

After church, Ryan asked me if I would ever consider adoption. HA! I had always wanted to adopt - ever since my mission trips to Jamaica back in high school and college. I told him that I had always wanted to, but I never imagined he would be willing to do so. We talked a lot about it and prayed a lot more.

I know that Collins' purpose in this life was to show me and Ryan that we could indeed love another child as much as we love Colt. I know that she was sent to us to open our hearts and our minds. Also to stir up love and the desire to love another child. I don't believe her purpose was to ever be here on Earth, her job was completed before she ever opened her eyes in this world and she will complete her life in Heaven, free of hurt and pain, praising Jesus until we get there.

Doors were closed, others were opened, and one day just recently we were SHOVED through a door.

So I write this to tell you all that Ryan, Colt, and I are adopting. We have been lead to adopt an orphan from Haiti and we are terrified and excited too. We still have a long road, as it's a very long process and a very expensive process. We have lots to do and I ask that you pray with us and for us and our future child. There will be lots of fundraising and I pray that you would help us with that too. Adoption is unfairly expensive. However, we know that this is God's plan for us and He will make a way.

Thanks for reading!