Again...

 I can't think of a title. :/

I just wanted to write a quick update on my stepdad.  He is still hanging on but has hardly any quality of life left at all.  It is so sad to see him lying in that bed.  He is so skinny and looks about 90 years old and is only in his 50s.  He can no longer stand or talk.  I talked to Mom this morning and she said his breathing is starting to get labored.  It will not be much longer.  He doesn't really "see" you anymore, as his eyes aren't focusing.  I hate this part.  We watched this with my precious Nana and it was horrible.  At this point, you know what is going to happen as it is inevitable and honestly, you just want it to happen soon and not drag on because he's suffering.  My mom feels this way and is at peace with his death, however, she is going to be (is already, really) heartbroken.  If you know my mom, you know it took a VERY long time and a lot of mistakes to get to the point of finding Allen and it seems so unfair for him to be taken from her.  I also want to be very honest about her because I don't feel that it is something of which to be ashamed.  She is bipolar - clinically diagnosed, not just "moody," among other things. So many people throw the term "bipolar" around very loosely.  Anyway.  She is bipolar and takes a lot of medication and care to try to keep it under control.  Lots of things could easily turn it into a situation where she really needs help and losing a spouse could totally do it.  I know she takes great care to try not to sleep during the day even if she couldn't sleep at night (this has happened lots lately) and if she does get her days and nights mixed a little, it can throw the bipolar disorder into a mess.  I just want you guys to know exactly what to pray for when it comes to her.  She needs prayer that she can get the rest she needs and be able to grieve without it turning into something that could - in a really bad case - require hospitalization for her.  Allen was her support and her sanity, in many situations, and it is going to be very hard for her to handle this.  I also ask that you pray for her to grieve in a "healthy" manner.  God knows what I mean.  As for Allen, please pray that he passes peacefully and soon, so he does not suffer long.  He has been in a lot of pain and no one should have to go through that.

As for me, I ask that you pray that I am strong enough for my mom.  Ryan and I (and Colt!) love Allen so much and we will desperately miss him, but we have to be able to be strong enough for mom.

Thanks for your prayers.