The House of Doo

The House of Doo

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Behavior Frustration.

You may know we have had some real struggles with Colt lately. He's getting into a lot of trouble, at home, church, and school. He is biting, hitting, and kicking his teachers. He has bitten a friend twice and that breaks my heart because we have been on the receiving end of a child like that. It's hard as a parent to know that has happened to your child without wanting to spank the other kid. I get that. Luckily, that little boy has a really sweet and understanding mother. That has stopped for now, but it's his teachers (and me!) now. FRUSTRATING. He knows better, but it's like he absolutely cannot control it. It's a true impulse and I have no idea how to teach a 4 year old to think before acting, when he obviously reacts before he CAN think. After these kinds of situations happen, he immediately starts apologizing. When you ask him why he did something, he always says, "I don't know. I really don't know." I believe him, he really doesn't know why he does it. :(

It's hard these days and I am so frustrated because I know my son is not a bad kid. We punish him, teach him rules, reward him when he's good, and stick to our guns. We don't give in when things get hard. We don't stick a "screen" in front of his face to pacify him. Actually, he has a LeapPad tablet that he loves but it is reserved for doctor's offices, long car rides, and rewards. I only say all of this to make the point that he's not an undisciplined, pacified child, you know?  ANYWAY, this morning I took him to school and his teacher had come up with a special plan for him. She had written a story about the appropriate way to act when you are frustrated or anxious or whatever and in the story, if he reacts the appropriate way, he gets to play with a "Minion" toy. You know, the little yellow guys from the 'Despicable Me' movies?  Well, his teacher went out and BOUGHT HIM A SPECIAL MINION TOY. It was sitting up high on a shelf. It is ONLY for Colt, but ONLY if he reacts the correct way and not the way he's been reacting. This story had pictures and everything. She went out of her way to try to help him.

This is not the first time she has done something special to try to help him. Nap time is a real fight at school, as he's suddenly stopped napping. Apparently Colt can't be quiet and still (shocker!) during nap time, so it disrupts all the other children who do nap. His teacher set a timer and if Colt is still and quiet until the timer goes off (just enough time to let the other children get to sleep), he gets a special "quiet box" she made up for him with all kinds of quiet activities to do while his classmates nap.

These situations have helped me see that there is no place around that would accommodate him the way his school does. They go above and beyond to make sure he succeeds. We're not there yet, but with a teacher and a facility like this, I can't see how he won't. I am so thankful for their help and support and amazing resources. I am also thankful for a caring, patient, understanding teacher.

Snuggling with his weighted blanket.

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