The House of Doo

The House of Doo

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Comeback.

Please forgive me if this post is choppy. I am a bit rusty.

If you know me well, you know that I am much better at communicating through writing than with spoken words. I tend to speak before I think things through and this often gets me in trouble. Sometimes I even "post before thinking" and this too gets me in trouble. I have taken a few "Facebook breaks" over the past few months and it's been liberating and constricting at the very same time. It's nice to not feel so connected to something and to be able to pull away. But at the same time, it took away my voice. I can promise you that was a good (but hard!) thing at the time. I had lots of ugly things to say to anyone that would listen.

I have not blogged since April. I am missing it. Missing my outlet. Missing my (free!) therapy.

The past year has been the worst year I could have ever imagined. I have felt intense joy and the most intense heartbreak too. I have been put on antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications. Medication to sleep. Therapy. It's hard. I have been drowning. I am still struggling but I am starting to see a light at the end of this horrible tunnel.

Our family has been tested relentlessly this year and y'all, we failed.

We FAILED.

Our family almost didn't make it.

Our flesh is so weak, but you know what? Our God is so strong. His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

I take comfort in knowing that we are doing what God intended for us. I know Satan tests us most when we are doing what is right. With that being said, we are still adopting. I still have shirts to give out. I have not forgotten. I have just been fighting to keep my head above water.

I am sorry. I am sorry I have been a bad friend. I am sorry I haven't been a good example. I have been angry. Sad. Hurt. Hopeless. Anxious.

But I am coming back, hopefully for good and hopefully all of me.

If you made it through this, thank you. ❤


9 comments:

  1. You my dear are amazing and even though we have never "met" you are an inspiration, have a 2 beautiful kids and have a smile that would light up the room. You did not fail you persevered through. God is getting you through this!! Jer 29:11

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  2. You my dear are amazing and even though we have never "met" you are an inspiration, have a 2 beautiful kids and have a smile that would light up the room. You did not fail you persevered through. God is getting you through this!! Jer 29:11

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  3. You've been grieving. You can't put a time limit on grieving. Even you don't know how long or how often it will happen. I don't know how your loss feels. I can only imagine. You're right, God is constantly changing all of us. I love you so much and I think you're very brave and stronger than you know. You're a beautiful and loving woman. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

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  4. "Almost didn't make it " means you made it which means you didn't fail. I don't know your story, but I know you didn't fail.

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  5. You're amazing my friend. Keep swimming. God is good and will continue to be good. And you're not alone. Hugs!

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    Replies
    1. I have had a great support system - you're the president! ;) Thank you, sweet friend!

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