Yesterday Colt had an appointment with his pediatric ophthalmologist. We go see him every 3-6 months, depending on how Colt's eyes are doing. We have been noticing his eyes "wandering" again for about a year or more and the doctor has been monitoring it closely. He has also started doing the weird head positioning when he's trying to focus. Anyway, yesterday I took some pictures in that I have taken of Colt where his eyes were obviously off. Dr. Peterson decided he would change the prescription in his glasses to try to fix the issue but because it's happening when the glasses are on and off, he isn't sure it will work. We may be looking at a fourth eye surgery in our future, but we do have some time to wait and see. Dr. Peterson also wasn't happy with the way his eyes were switching from being turned in to turned out. He says this points back to the neurological issue Colt has had since birth.
If you have followed Colt's journey for a while, you may remember when he was two years old, we were told that Colt had brain damage or mild cerebral palsy due to a suspected stroke in-utero. Then some time around four years old, we were told that the MRI showed that the brain had basically "healed itself" and that the damage was gone. I posted about that some, but I never posted about how I truly felt. I felt like I should have been elated!
BUT I WASN'T.
I was devastated. You know why? Because all the symptoms of the brain damage were still there. The developmental delay. The eye issues. The speech issues. The right side body weakness. The physical awkwardness. And on and on. When we found out about he brain damage, we had an answer as to why Colt had all these issues. Well when they took that answer away, we were left with the questions again.
If that's not what is causing it, then what is?
Then yesterday, when Dr. Peterson said the words "neurological issue" all of those feelings came rushing back. Granted, now we have some other diagnoses - Autism, ADHD, SPD, but those don't explain his eyes not responding to his brain and the other physical issues. I am not sure we will ever really understand the puzzle that is Colt, but I am trying.
I just needed to get that out. I hated thinking that I should feel one way as a parent that receives good news, but I didn't feel that way at all. Now those words are being tossed around again and the feelings are back.
Anyway, here's one of the super cute pictures of my boy and his special eyes. 💓