Two years.

Today is the two year anniversary of the loss of my precious Nana.  It was the worst day of my life to date but at the same time, I was so thankful that she was no longer in any pain.  In our selfishness, we didn’t want to let go but I know we will see her smiling face again soon. 

She (and my Pawpaw) bought me my first bicycle, my first television for my room, my first CD player and CD (Boyz II Men!), my first Coach purse, and my first brand new car, as a college graduation gift.  She spoiled me, much to my Dad’s dismay.  ;)  She loved the finer things in life, but loved the simple things too.  She taught me to appreciate front porch sitting to “watch the cars go by.”  She taught me how to pick out the perfect watermelon.  She taught me about lipstick (which I despise, sorry Nana!), shoes, and good handbags.  She taught me to “Never trust a person who doesn’t like animals, dogs in particular.”  (She nailed that one!)  She gave me the best piece of shopping advice ever – “If you leave the store without it, will you keep thinking about it?  If so, buy it!  If not, you don’t need it.” 

I remember getting aggravated at her for the most ridiculous reason.  When I was angry or upset with someone and I’d go to talk to her about it, she’d let me vent, but would never, ever say anything negative about that person.  I would want her to agree with me and say “You’re right, what a terrible person!” or something to that degree.  Looking back, I see what an example she was setting for me.  Don’t talk about people.  You don’t know what they go through.  That’s hard for me, when I get mad, I get really mad and say things I don’t mean.  I never saw her get very angry.  You know when she did get upset though because she’d say “Well kiss my foot!”  Haha.  She had the most self-control of any person I have ever known.  Funny, my dad and aunt Diane are that way.  She obviously rubbed off on them, I can only hope to try to be that kind of stand-up person.  Eventually.  ;)

After she died I got a message from a childhood friend on Facebook.  Here is some of what she said:

“She was such a sweet lady, and even though I haven't spent time with her since I was little, she was a great role model to me. I often think of her and how prim and proper she was, kind and gentle. I always remember how she would ask how we liked our waffles toasted! And if we dropped anything on her beautiful floor she didn't even care and would say that it was ok her puppy would eat it! Also, I remember that she slept with a satin eye pillow over her eyes and I couldn't wait till I grew up so I could be like her. She was so beautiful Jessica and so different than anything I grew up around. You are so blessed to have grown up with her as your nana!”

This makes me unbelievably proud. 

Nana died when I was seven months pregnant and never got to meet my precious little boy, but I know she sees him from Heaven and adores him.  He is so stinkin’ stubborn and I try to remember that was exactly how Nana was.  It makes it a little easier to deal with.  ;)  He wrinkles up his face sometimes in frustration and I see her in him.  That warms my heart more than I could ever say.  We miss you, Nana and can’t wait to see you in Heaven.